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Old 01-29-2018, 04:26 PM   #1
Big Vic
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Top 5 worst movies you watched

  1. The Box (with Cameron Diaz)
  2. Crybaby
  3. The Whole Ten Yards
  4. Attack of the Clones
  5. Epic Movie


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I've been sad all day thinking about how Biggie never got to play Ocarina of Time
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The WWE should let Ambrose and Rollins do a safe amount of steroids. They could come out of that process looking like a million bucks.

Last edited by Big Vic; 01-29-2018 at 04:27 PM. Reason: dishonarble mention: "The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It"
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Old 01-29-2018, 04:57 PM   #2
Slik
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1. A Serbian Film
2. House Of The Dead
3. Stuck On You

are the only ones that come to mind
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Old 01-29-2018, 06:04 PM   #3
My Final Heaven
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Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
On the Line starring Lance Bass
Ninja Resurrection
After disgusting Hollywood nepotism Earth
True Memoirs of an International Assassin
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Old 01-29-2018, 08:10 PM   #4
RP
Arya execute Littlefinger
 
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The Murder on Orient Express
Ice Queen
Spiderman 3
The Shape of Water ( The Shape of Turd ) as far as i'm concerned.
Batman vs Superman
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Old 01-29-2018, 10:27 PM   #5
Savio
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1. A Serbian Film
2. House Of The Dead
3. Stuck On You

are the only ones that come to mind
Oh come on Stuck on you wasn't THAT bad.
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Old 01-29-2018, 10:46 PM   #6
Broken Wheel
YHWH
 
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Battle beyond the Stars
Hercules /Lou Ferrigno
Hard to Die
Son of the Pink Panther
Superman III / Superman IV
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Old 01-29-2018, 11:09 PM   #7
SlickyTrickyDamon
Quark is Less Impressed.
 
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Crocodile Hunter Movie
Chairman of the Board
Battlefield Earth
Police Academy: Mission to Moscow.
Batman and Robin.
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Old 01-30-2018, 10:53 AM   #8
Destor
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If I can remember the title then it probably shouldnt be on the list
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Old 01-30-2018, 12:29 PM   #9
Helmsphere
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Oh come on Stuck on you wasn't THAT bad.
I found it entertaining even among too much Cher.
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Old 01-30-2018, 12:31 PM   #10
Helmsphere
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Mortal Kombat: Annihalation
The Villiage
Ghost Rider
Any Scary Movie/Parody Spoof Beyond 3 (Which was barely watchable itself)
Aeon Flux
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Old 01-30-2018, 02:58 PM   #11
Bad News Gertner
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1. Star Trek: Wrath of Khan
2. Star Wars
3. Empire Strikes Back
4. Return of the Jedi
5. Anchorman 2
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Old 01-30-2018, 03:04 PM   #12
Seanny One Ball
 
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1.Just Married
2.Eden Lake
3.The Neon Demon
4.Cherry Tree Lane
5.Spring Breakers

I have seen a lot of lower budget trash in my time but it's the big names in productions that have absolutely zero merit to a bloke like me that fuck me right off.
I'd immediately know the motivations of every film maker that turns out a film as pointless as "Just Married" but money is a fairly obvious end game for the talentless...it's the other four on my list that genuinely angered me because every one of them has talent involved that should know better.
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Old 02-01-2018, 10:14 AM   #13
Seanny One Ball
 
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1. Gods and Generals
2. Just Married
3. Eden Lake
4. The Neon Demon
5. Cherry Tree Lane

Updated as of last night's new low point.
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Old 02-01-2018, 11:24 AM   #14
Bobholly138
Ffyc y pizza gwneud corra
 
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1.Bad Boys-Will Smith and Martin one from the 90s.
2.Vampeggedon
3.ID4
4.Forest Gump
5.Any Peter Jackson film after The Frighteners
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Old 02-02-2018, 07:31 AM   #15
Fignuts
Remastered in 1080p
 
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Very apparent that many of you have not perused the horror section on Netflix and hulu.

Makes every movie listed so far look like the godfarther.
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Old 02-02-2018, 03:39 PM   #16
Seanny One Ball
 
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I'm only naming films that had decent sized budgets.
Low budget horror isn't so much bad as it is depressing.
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Old 02-02-2018, 04:20 PM   #17
Cool King
King K Cool
 
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The first five I could think of, in no particular order:

Snowpiercer
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Paranormal Activity
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
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Old 02-02-2018, 04:20 PM   #18
Cool King
King K Cool
 
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Quote:
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1. A Serbian Film
Good God, you actually watched that?
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Old 02-02-2018, 04:20 PM   #19
Cool King
King K Cool
 
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I've never seen it myself but a friend of mine has told me all about it.
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Old 02-03-2018, 02:53 PM   #20
Cool King
King K Cool
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cool King View Post
The first five I could think of, in no particular order:

Snowpiercer
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
Paranormal Activity
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Actually, I got mixed up there, it wasn't Zack and Miri but Knocked Up I was thinking of.
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Old 02-03-2018, 03:34 PM   #21
Seanny One Ball
 
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You should try watching a genuinely bad film. You'd feel a bit ashamed of your choices there if you had.
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Old 02-03-2018, 03:36 PM   #22
Cool King
King K Cool
 
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I'll ask Mark Kermode for a list of bad films and then watch them.
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Old 02-03-2018, 03:42 PM   #23
Seanny One Ball
 
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Mark Kermode is alright but he thinks The Exorcist is the best film ever made.
It isn't.

I just mean you seem to have put mediocrity in there ahead of true crap. I think you can do better with your hatred but then I expect better of everybody all of the time.
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Old 02-03-2018, 03:52 PM   #24
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I just had a look and Kermode's worst film is the Exorcist 2: The Heretic.
No surprise there then.

I watched The Piano recently and fucking hated it. It made me want to strangle Holly Hunter and she doesn't say one word in the entire thing.
God it was bad. Anyway I looked it up and it holds great critical acclaim yet in amongst the reviews I found this treasured gem:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter Bradshaw, Guardian film critic
The most insidiously awful type of film, however, is Arthouse Lite. A key example is The Piano by Jane Campion. It is middlebrow, pseudo-literary cinema, which is shallow and prissy and genteel. Those self-regarding pretty-pretty compositions of Holly Hunter on the beach, drove me up the wall. She's mute: which manages to be such a smug passive-aggressive idea. That's my thing about bad films. Honest dreck is fine. It's straight-to-video rubbish and I don't get upset about it, but I can get upset about middleweight nonsense.
That's exactly the sort of film that needs to be burned out and removed from sight so that nobody can copy it.

Terrence Malick makes films as bad as this.
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Old 02-03-2018, 03:53 PM   #25
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Jane Campion also made In The Cut, the one film where Mark Ruffalo fucking sucks.
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Old 02-03-2018, 05:25 PM   #26
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Jane Campion also made In The Cut, the one film where Mark Ruffalo fucking sucks.
The one where Meg Ryan shows her tits constantly?
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Old 02-04-2018, 09:46 AM   #27
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The Cube 2.
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Old 02-04-2018, 10:54 AM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Helmsphere View Post
The one where Meg Ryan shows her tits constantly?
I think there is one nude sex scene if that fits your definition of showing her tits constantly.
It's not great though because this was when Meg Ryan had just received that fucked up facelift and she looked grim.
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Old 02-04-2018, 10:56 AM   #29
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Quote:
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The Cube 2.
Whichever one had the autistic savant guy in it is the worst one.
The first one was tremendous though, I thoroughly enjoyed that one hungover Sunday morning.
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Old 02-04-2018, 10:23 PM   #30
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Ya, I enjoyed the first one. Are there more than 2?
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Old 02-05-2018, 04:17 AM   #31
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cube_Zero

Feast your eyes.
Cube Zero is weird though. I actually think The Cabin In The Woods ripped it off a teeny bit with the employees running the experiment only The Cabin In the Woods did it a lot better.
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Old 02-05-2018, 04:19 AM   #32
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The most recent Fantastic Four is the worst for me.

Everything else here might be worse from a technical standpoint, but they're at least interesting because of how bad they are.

Fantastic Four is boring. I have never been more bored watching a movie. It is formulaic to a ridiculous degree. Even the lighting and color palette is boring. The old FF movies were at least bright and colorful.
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Old 02-05-2018, 04:57 AM   #33
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The most boring film I have ever seen is probably The Deer Hunter or Apocalypse Now.

Dreadful guff.
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Old 02-05-2018, 06:12 AM   #34
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I may have to add Brian De Palma's "Redacted" in here.I had to turn that off. That was the nastiest, ugliest piece of shit I have ever seen.
A film about soldiers raping Iraqi's…it just turns your stomach. Not only that but the soldiers are all caricatures of the least likely men every to serve in the army. I'm not even sure why Brian De Palma would make this shit…it's just disgusting crap. "RAPE IS BAD! AMERICAN SOLDIERS ARE RAPISTS!"

Who knows what the motivation was but apparently Roger Ebert gave it 3.5 stars out of 4…the cancer must have moved to his brain by then.
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Old 02-05-2018, 06:37 AM   #35
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Ebert hated the military because it was popular for Hollywood types to hate the military.
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Old 02-05-2018, 06:46 AM   #36
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Watch Redacted and you'll understand my wonder.
No amount of military hate makes that film halfway decent let alone "near perfect"
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Old 02-05-2018, 09:10 AM   #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fignuts View Post
The most recent Fantastic Four is the worst for me.

Everything else here might be worse from a technical standpoint, but they're at least interesting because of how bad they are.

Fantastic Four is boring. I have never been more bored watching a movie.
Watch "The Box".... it's nothing but boredom.
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Old 02-07-2018, 01:11 AM   #38
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I try to forget the movies that don't seem interesting to me!!
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Old 02-09-2018, 07:55 PM   #39
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Battlefield Earth.
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Old 02-09-2018, 07:57 PM   #40
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I bought a copy of that just to say I have it. Roger Christian sounds so half heartedly defiant in the commentary.
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