Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell no Tales: 5/10
Ugh. I REALLY wanted to like this movie. I love the Pirates franchise, I'm a huge mark for it. But this one just seemed like a bad Pirates parody movie. Jack Sparrow has been Flanderized so much. Fuck, the entire cast has been. Henry was basically a carbon copy of Orlando Bloom, and the busty chick was just a poor man's Keria Knightly. The whole movie felt like it was going through the motions. I get it, that's kind of what this entire franchise is, but it felt especially egregious this time around.
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