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If you have been summoned, you can't heal yourself with Estus flasks. Only the host can heal you. And vice-versa obviously. You can heal yourself if you have miracles and there is an effective healing miracle that hosts can use on everyone but it's a very high level Faith to use. Some hosts are pricks and won't heal when you get close to beating the boss, for whatever reason. When that happens I usually hang back a bit and won't join back in if I think they're sitting back trying to get me to do all the work for no pay. I think some of them believe they get less souls if they beat the boss with phantoms, which is not true. The phantoms get half as many souls but the host always gets the full amount. You can't lose your souls if you die when summoned.
When you beat the boss of the Catacombs, he drops an object that lets you kindle bonfires 3 times so you can have a total of 20 Estus flasks, I recommend getting that at some point if you haven't already. Get a strong Blessed/Holy weapon for the Catacombs.
If you want to get summoned for the bosses at Anor Londo, leave your sign at the nearest bonfire rather than at the door. Cap your level at 120, however, as after that you're unlikely to get summoned anywhere. That said, you will get summoned by people on NG+ at those levels, so be wary, as most enemies will one or two-hit you in NG+ (but they drop loads more souls, that's the way you'll likely realise you're in an NG+).
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