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Old 05-15-2018, 11:20 PM   #178
Mr. Nerfect
 
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I just don't the fascination with him. He sucked when he showed up and looked like a giant Eugene. He has surely gotten a little better and now has a better haircut, but he's over because they paid a bunch of geeks to get tossed around by him. You could have literally done the same thing with Nailz back in the day. It takes very little actual talent.

And that lack of talent has been exposed time and time again. When he worked solo against Brock, he fucked up basic spots. I can't remember the exact video, but Brock was basically trying to get him to do something, and Braun was just lying there like a fucking buffoon because he's got no clue what he is doing because he's not a very good wrestler, haha. Then there's the incident in the Triple Threat where Braun fucked up the knee, so Brock tattooed him with a punch in the side of his fucking head. Then there was that time that he was no-selling in the Rumble against Brock, so Brock was like "Fuck you, buddy" and legitimately knocked the piss out of him to send him to the mat. They're just the Brock ones.

He's gotten more over because of the anti-Roman sentiments. People are being force-fed the top guy, so they will take anyone over him. Anyone. But Braun is worse than Reigns. I don't know how you can argue that he's not. He is a worse wrestler, he's clumsier, he's got less of an idea about where to be and when to be there, and he's basically a big goof. But because he's not Roman and he tossed those idiots around: "Yaaaaaay!"

They could call up Lars Sullivan next week, have him do the same thing, and I guarantee that he is as over, if not more over, than Braun within a few months. Because there is nothing intangible about Braun that has led him to the position he is in. This is the sort of talentless big man people used to whinge about back in the day. He's Heidenreich with good booking, or Snitsky pushed as a babyface in a world where he can't punt babies.

Argh, he fucks up running and his fucking shoulder tackle. But yaaaaay -- not Roman. Yaaaaay he did funny corny shit with The Miz. It's staged and fake and everybody is scared of him, and when he's not around everyone asks "Where's B-B-B-B-Braun...?" because everyone is scared of him. Yaaaaaay. These are the fucking dark days, I swear to god.

And if I have to hear about how over he apparently is one more time... Every single Raw or PPV I have checked out he has gotten a mild reaction. Generally cheers. Not an ovation; not a roar from the crowd -- but golf claps with a few nerds standing up and stretching up their arms. It's tepid. I'm sure it is better than most people get these days, but a barely audible "Get these hands!" chant from a couple of hundred neckbeards isn't that fucking over. You could have a random dude go out there and say "I'm Johnny Lovecakes and I hate WWE" and do a wacky dance and it would get a bigger pop. Yes, I know that generally even the people who pay money to go to these things are quieter than they used to be, but I feel that is a self-defeating excuse. If people genuinely cared they would be more engaged.

He's not the worst thing ever, and to whatever fan-base you have let, he's a hero, even if it is a minor one that is never going to draw any money. But it just sucks because the love for him is a symptom of where we are. That people are impressed by a big dude with a grizzly voice and a beard that is presented as comedy and can't run properly and fucks up all the time because he's not officially the top guy...yikes. I just don't understand it. How can people want to see this guy as the champion working in 20-minute matches and cutting long promos about how much he appreciates fans, gay people, women and anti-bullying movements?
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