CNN Newscaster: Hospitals across The United States have reported a sudden influx of patients needing medical attention. Surprisingly, 99.9% of them have injuries to their right hands.
*Cuts to a scene of the ER's waiting room full of people with bandages on their right hands*
Newscaster: And we have conducted a poll of these people, and it is very interesting to note that they receive Spike TV and UPN on their TVs. And now we approach Vincent Kennedy McMahon, Chairman of WWE for his comments...
*Cuts to on-site reporter*
Reporter: Mr McMahon...
Vinnie Mac: I'm not telling you what you don't already know!
Reporter:
Vinnie Mac: Ok, I'll tell you why. It's all because of the roll-up! I had already banned the roll-up in WWE, but these ridiculous indy wrestlers go rolling-up every match! It's not my fault right?
*Fade out*