"If enough of you fine men have purchased ________, I offer gentleman's contest between factions. It would be a private match between _______ and ______. I will be back for your reply later in the day. I hope, with curious glee, that your answer is most pleasing to my expectations. Perhaps if this fine contest is most acceptable we can continue these bouts between our competitive bands in other ventures. Though I do not aim to wish you away with my final revelation, I must admit my brothers in arms are most effective in the subjectively stimulating art of fucking people up. I hope in the darkest recesses of my heart and soul that you find this particularly motivational. I leave you fine men to your internal counsel."
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