Eli Drake is like bad Alex Riley. And I have accepted that Alex Riley was not good. I was wrong about that. But give me A-Ry until I'm neck-deep in the Pacific Ocean's rising levels than five minutes of Eli Drake being the absolutely worst personality ever. I'd rather smear Vegemite on my balls until the yeast starts to burn through my actual testes, leaving me infertile and smelling like a lunchbox than know he is going to be on a show in the same town as me. The knowledge that he is there would ruin my life.
Am I making it clear how much I do not like Eli Drake?
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