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The Deer Hunter 3/10
This universally acclaimed monstrosity is duller than a soup spoon and easily 90 minutes too long.
I hated it. If the filming hadn't been so obviously well done this would be fired down to a 2/10 because there was just nothing to this film at all. I had seen it before when I was an alcoholic but I figured I must have missed something.
Unfortunately I had not.
I'm not sure why anyone would jump on the bandwagon and declare this shit a masterpiece because it really is a long slow turd that emerges broken, disjointed and somehow missing vital pieces.
It really makes very little sense. I find it ludicrous that a man could indulge himself by filming a wedding for an hour to absolutely no improvement of the film only to have to rush through or skip some big chunks later on which leave you wondering how a guy with a broken leg now has no legs and one arm or why the fuck Christopher Walken does any of the shit that he does at all.
The best scene in this entire 3 hour mess is the bit where Bobby De Niro decides not to shoot a majestic deer on his solo return from Vietnam. I have never sat through a film as fidgety as this. It was a huge waste of time and anyone that was a film critic when it came out should be ashamed that they so easily fell into parroting back what others praised it for.
This film is the perfect example of a movie with all of the right ingredients yet that somehow created an inert, wasteful pile of crud instead of the high powered rocket fuel it should be.
I am amazed that anyone was surprised that Cimino's next film went so hugely over budget and was decried as the worst movie ever made.
I mean what Deer Hunter did these idiots see?
The one I've just watched is probably the most wasteful piece of shit I've ever sat through so I'd be expecting Heaven's Gate to be an even longer and more protracted bowel movement.
It really is sorely obvious from the Deer Hunter that Michael Cimino was an arrogant, ponderous buffoon and that he would only ever produce low energy guff that relied on slow camera work, panning all over countryside and across irrelevant scenes of a life nobody should be interested in.
It is fair to say that I actually hated The Deer Hunter.
I could edit the footage down to a lean 20 minute movie that made sense but I'd probably still have had to use 5 minutes of tracking shots just because nobody wants to see a 15 minute movie.
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