[SenatorJPO]

This post grew / evolved / metastasized to the point where I've included footnotes.

I did not see any pro wrestlers on TV until I was 8 years old (autumn 1992), but I did see some action figures[1] at Toys'R'Us[2] in prior years.

With that said, I'll justify my 5 favorites by providing a reason after each:

1) Hulk Hogan
-The best blue-sky optimist who could always deliver on his boasts. Hogan made it happen. Then, I found-out pro wrestling is rigged![3]

2) Randy Savage
-"The Slim Jim guy," more-associated-with the brand than other wrestlers who appeared in the commercials, such as Warrior and Edge.

3) Sgt. Slaughter
-"The G.I. Joe guy," and I didn't know about his 1991 heel run until I surfed the Internet during the Attitude Era.

4) "Million-Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase
-He was ostensibly a heel, but in my childhood I had believed, "Having more money means you're a better person! G_d loves you more."[4]
-Also, I legitimately thought he was Richie Rich's dad; and because Richie was a babyface, how bad could his father be?

5) "Not the Mountie," Jacques Rougeau
-Big Bossman was too serious for me; whereas, I enjoyed the goofy antics of the Mountie.
-Jacques had that "Dudley Do-Right" vibe, despite being a heel.
-I didn't watch wrestling until after he ended his singles run as the Mountie, but I caught the tail-end of his second WWF tag team, The Quebecers. But The Q's didn't have the full uniform or the Tazer that the Mountie did, so they weren't in my top quintet.

Conversely: Noticeably absent are Sting, Warrior, and the Road Warriors, because wrestlers with painted faces -scared- me![5]

-Footnotes-
[1] I thought WWE was "too grown-up" because it wasn't a cartoon, beyond Hulk Hogan's Rock'n'Wrestling. Whoever joked about putting Smackdown Live on The Cartoon Network actually had a great idea for introducing more elementary schoolers to WWE programming.

[2] May that money-pit RIP! It was the bane to many parents' pocketbooks.

[3] Just like my job search and the federal elections. Perhaps, also the state elections. Local elections might be not-quite "rigged," but they are entirely dependent upon how much "social capital" -- respect within the community -- you've accrued over the years.

[4] I have since abandoned this aristocratic notion of the "Prosperity" Gospel, in-favor-of the "Help the Needy" Gospel.

[5] This shows another side to Kevin Sullivan's genius, in-that he knew children would be scared by his painted face, so-long-as he avoided bright colors that would be too clownish. But this is an after-the-fact comparison, seeing how I didn't know who Sullivan was until I watched Hogan-era WCW.