Impact Wrestling: World Champion Tessa Blanchard (Air Date Spoilers Only)
 

Sincerel I'm about the only one who watches Impact on a weekly basis and the ROH thread has dropped Impact I figure I'd start one for the new Impact Wrestling.

Now they are only 3 episodes in to the new regime taking over and as a fan I think it's been complete shit really. First episode was a complete WWE reference the whole show pretty much. 2nd episode was ok but not a lot of wrestling in my option. The last episode had a lot of tag team wrestling but the last segment was just bad. Karen Jarrett of all people was brought out, and I guess she's got some type of power they never really said but she ended up slapping Josh Mathews who was really the best part of the segment. Might have been an alright segment had it been in the middle of the show but it's not something to end a show on.

Really trying to be more WWE like than they were with Hogan I think. This week Bruce had a sit down interview with Lashley that was very similar to a Micheal Cole style interview. Wasn't even needed because people know who Lashley is. Now had they interviewed one of these many new faces they have that would have made sense but they pretty much just used it to kind of turn Bobby face.

Now to what I do like, all the new faces are nice and they seem to be working with a lot of different promotions. Feel like they had a lot of smaller promotions lined up to face the Hardys as they have had the Future Stars of Wrestling Tag Team titles and last week had Monster Factory Tag Team champions on the show with their titles. Seems like they just reworked things and it worked I think. Next week they are supposed to crown new tag team champions but really haven't said anything about who will be in the match at all just that next they will crown champions.

Cody Rhodes has been good and him and Moose wrestle next week for the Grand Championship, I just hope they drop the round stuff and have a regular match. Actually wore Bullet Club gear this week which I'm not sure if thats legal or not.

If they are truly doping the TNA they really need to get new titles. All but the Grand Championship still have TNA on them and its dumb to say TNA is dead only to still have those titles.

They just don't seem to be able to find their identity and are reaching for anything they can. Trying to be like WWE but different at the same time. Trying to be great shouldn't mean being WWE but I think that's what they are going for. TNA was great when it was an alternative to WWE and once they realize that they might get somewhere.

TLDR: Impact Wrestling has no idea what they are.

Is Karen still hot?

Still comes off as bush league.

It's going to as long as they are trying to be like WWE. They'll never be able to do WWE as good as WWE does so it will come off as busch league.

Mmmm, beer...:drool::shifty:

We have a thread for this.

It's called the Official Piss In My Mouth and Shit On My Chest thread.

That's sounds like just another one of your regular threads though, didn't even realize it was about Impact. Just thought someone new that didn't get your humor might be able to find this thread a bit easier. It's been pretty bad but not that bad, not yet at least.

Yeah, I'm a NASCAR fan and for the longest time Busch beer sponsored NASCARs minor league series. So I use that when talking about bush/busch league things.

She is transforming into Stifler's Mom

Some mod was editing the title of the thread. but it's probably better if TNA had it's own separate thread.

Chris Masters just jumped Moose after Moose defended the Grand Championship at a house show in my hometown and it was being taped for Impact apparently. Masters just about kicked me in the face jumping the rail lol

It wasn't am Impact show by the way. It's the indie promotion that Scott D'Amore owns. A few guys like Kongo Kong and Idris Abraham who have appeared in Impact lately are from it. Border City Wrestling.

Kurt sure upgraded, that's for sure.

Wonder how many WWE references they make this week. Karen Jarrett starting the show talking about Maria.

New guy KM who is Siena's cousin came out and threatened Karen. Braxton Sutter made the save and will face KM later.

X Division match Andrew Everett vs DJZ. Going to count Josh saying Impact is trending world wide as a WWE reference, also AJ Styles shout out for being first X Division champion.

Everett won by roll up. Shane Helms and Trevor Lee came out after the match and told him he'd get an opportunity next week. No word what that opportunity was though, didn't sound like he'd get an X Division title shot though as Helms said he hadn't waned in with one win.

Match was real spotty at the beginning, just as it was getting good they did the roll up finish.

Rosemary is great, looks like she stole Brother Nero's contacts. ODB interrupts her and JB.

Rosemary wanted to run but the Knockouts locker room ran her back into the ring. They all want title shots and now there's a huge brawl.

If Karen Jarrett is getting involved in story lines... the doors will be closing up any day now

She's some type of authority figure. Haven't really said what her title is but that her family was back. I think she's the new head of the Knockouts but they haven't officially said that.

Moose vs Cody is tonight. I just hope they have a regular match.

EC3 is out now saying he needs to be the real EC3. Made a phenomenal and It factor reference, James Storm interrupts jealous because he didn't get referenced. EC3 didn't mention him because he was talking about multiple time world champions but really just making more WWE references.

Weird, that turned into a fan segment and the fans will decide which one gets a title shot.

Moose vs Cody is now and it's fucking timed rounds. Wish they'd scap this.

I guess superkicking a judge is a good way to get rid of this shit. One judge down 2 to go Cody.

Bruce Pritchard replaced the injured judge and Moose won round 1.

Brandi Rhodes told Cody off in between rounds and she doesn't give a fucking shit, him and Moose can kill each other for all she cares. Cody won round 2.

Round 3 looking like it's going to be a draw.

Split decision Moose won. Really hope they use this to drop the rounds. Last two matches have come down to the judges.

KM vs Sutter now.

KM won with power bomb backstabber off a distraction by Siena. Sutter and Allow clear the ring afterwards and Laural Van Ness came out still in her wedding dress crying.

Tag Team Championship match now. Graza Jr & Larado Kid vs Decay vs Reno Scum vs LAX. Still using TNA tag team championships.

Hope Decay or LAX win this match. Haven't really been impressed with Reno Scum. I like Garza Jr but feel like he'd be a better singles wrestler.

LAX won, really looked impressive and cohesive. Better show this week but nothing special. Next week has Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards in a last man standing match that should be pretty good.

Doesn't matter everybody knows those titles mean shit now that the Broken Hardyz left without losing them.

Kind of agree, should have just created new titles for the rebrand but I guess they are to cheap. Thought Decay tampering with Vanguard 1 was a good way to write the Hardys off but they didn't really explain what they did and just brushed it off the next week.

impact fans start another cool chant who are you who are you

Eli Drake vs Caleb Konley started the show. Eli won off a Gyrus distraction. Really like Konley though. Josh and JB arguing now. JB says tonight he might knock Josh's was out.

Pritchard out now demanding both get in the ring. Each will pick a team of 4 for a match next week to see which one knows more.

Knockouts gauntlet to see who the #1 contender is. Josh and JB continue to argue.

DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE DELETE

Some new Knockouts, MJ Jenkins was the most memorable one. ODB won the match.

James Storm quit the DCC last week and Kingston and Bram were mad. Storm took them both out.

X Division triple threat #1 contender match. Suicide vs Andrew Everett vs Marshe Rockett

Andrew Everett won. Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards last man standing match is next.

Last man standing match was decent. Wives got involved, Davey wrapped a chain around his boot but was hesitant about kicking Eddie as Angelina held him. Angelina kissed him and told him to do it for her and he did to win the match.

This is the saddest thread ever

It has lived up to the thread title. Impact Wrestling is a sad situation right now as well.

Not sad by your part, sad for the company

Alberto El Patron had a squash match with a guy that looked like Perry Saturn with a mohawk.

Josh as JB are picking teams now. Josh's first pick is Lashley

JB picks El Patron

Josh picked Bram with his 2nd pick.

Chris Adonis(Masters) is JBs #2pick

Eli Drake to Josh's team.

Tyrus came out with Drake and is Josh's 4th pick and started a brawl. Matt Morgan made the save and is JB's 3rd pick. Morgan and Lashley we're in the ring as JB's 4th pick was walking into the Impact Zone only showing his feet and they just went off air.

That would be Joe Bolen. He's an indie wrestler from my area. Scott D'Amore brought a bunch of guys from his local promotion (Border City Wrestling) to fill the roster. Idris Abraham, Kongo Kong and John E Bravo have also appeared/will appear

Don't think commentary actually said his name or I missed it in between all their arguing.

Apparently Konley is playing Suicide, so you get him twice a night.

I was wondering who they had under the mask. Could always tell when it was Christopher Daniels.

Decent 3 way tag to start the show. Reno Scum defeated Decay and Garza Jr. and Larado Kid. Reno Scum look more impressive every time out.

James Storm won a fan vote to be the #1 contender between him EC3 and Matt Morgan who just showed up last week. EC3 was upset with the results and confronted Prichard. Said this new regime is a rigged system but Bruce brought up EC3 tapping out to El Patron as a reason for the new regime not being g behind him. Now EC3 is going to go find a mirror and ask himself where the real EC3 went.

Seiena and KM vs Allie and Braxton Sutter now.

Typical Allie finish, Seiena caught her after a cross body but tripped over KM backwards and Allie got the pin. Kongo Kong showed up after the match and took out Braxton and Laurel Van Ness and Seiena beat up Allow.

Santana Garrett back in the Impact Zone looking good but she's facing Rosemary.

Rosemary won but Santana out up a good fight and had a good showing.

X Divison time, 4 way with Suicide, All Day Marshe Rockett, Andrew Everett, and Shane Helms is actually going to wrestle, maybe. He's in jeans with knee pads on the out side of them.

Everett won and should get an X Division title shot now. How's and Trevor Lee attacked him after the match. Everett caught back though and hit Lee with a frankendriver

You know the best thing about Impact?

http://i1184.photobucket.com/albums/...in/silence.gif

Davey Richards with Angelina Love vs DJZ now. Hate face DJZ, was much better as the BroMans personal DJ.

Richards won and Eddie ran down after the match but was held back by security. Eddie's wife got loose though and her and Angelina had a car fight.

love the .gif, just got stoned and it's very cool. Can't stop watching it.

Here you go

http://images.e-flux-systems.com/HN0Y31440.gif,1440

Team JB vs Team GOAT(Josh), if JB's team wins Josh will leave commentary.

^ That dude got tired, that's why he's upside down.

This one just doesn't do it like the other one. It's a cool creepy .gif that had a good flow to it.

That ones cool to but just for the fact that you only get a short peak at it before it fades to black. I'm to high because I've never critiqued a .gif in my life.

Team JB won. Locker room came out and celebrated Josh leaving.

Will Tenay come back please?

I wish, not sure though. I guess it will just be JB and Pope which doesn't seem like a good way to go.

Love this thread. Not only does it keep me up to date with the happenings of Impact without be having to watch it, but additionally some of Simple Fan's autocorrects are really funny.

Sigh...

I was REALLY bored the other day so I tried to watch some recent segments of Impact. What I saw was just really embarrassing. It's not only the worst wrestling show I've ever seen, it's possibly the worst show I've ever seen period. This land of make believe has zero credibility. Sure some of the workers are talented but under this banner, in that ring, it's just so fucking bad. "Make Impact Great" is one of the dumbest fucking things I have ever seen, it made me so ashamed to be a wrestling fan. Bruce Prichard in the ring ... like... what? Why? Why!?! IT's so BAD.

Someone just please end this nightmare. Why couldn't WCW just die a peaceful death. Seriously, at it's very worst no episode of Thunder or Nitro was ever as bad as this shit. And oh my god the women... it's literally like some stripper run community theatre production it's so fucking talentless, no decent direction or script... ech.... please someone stop this shit from continuing on.

Isn't it funny how nearly 10 years ago now, the women were the highlight of the show? That was like the one division that was being done right and the majority of it was populated by girls (Lacey Von Erich notwithstanding) who could more or less go from bell to bell?

Getting started late this week. Long intro video hyping Storm vs Lashley. I guess their live this week.

LAX started the show in a match with two jobbers. Konan now cutting a promo introducing the new LAX.

Decay came out and a brawl starts.

Karen Jarrett out now after first commercial.

She announced GFW and Impact have merged and that they are live.

Sonjay Duty out now hugging Karen and happy to be back in the Impact Zone

Talking about the X division. Andrew Everett out saying he's first in line for X division title shot. Helms and Lee out now spewing insults. Prichard coming out now and made the main event a six way X Division championship match.

Rosemary vs ODB for the Knockouts championship.

Rosemary retains in a dull match.

Suicide has been added to thecsix way X Division match.

Kongo Kong with Laural Van Ness still in her wedding dress, KM, and Siena vs Chris Silvio

Kongo Kong won with a top rope splash.

Magnus in a backstage interview with McKenzie Mitchell saying his GFW championship is his golden ticket and he's the #1contender not Alberto El Patron.